Rant

If I try to put myself in your shoes…
“Back off! Back off!
There’s no space for you here:
This woman is taken.
She says she wants you
Says…
Would you trust that?
Why would it work?
Does she even know what she wants?
Not deliberately playing with you
But…”

Why would you trust me?
I’m unpredictable
Alive to the moment
Not signed up to monogamy–monotamy
I want truth:
Your truth
My truth
Raw truth.
Sitting on that edge you sat on this morning.

There’s no threesome here.
I don’t make myself clear.
It’s like the father of the bride:
Holding space for us
to explore.
And that’s all.

You can’t acknowledge that?
Why not?
Because it’s acknowledging a limit?
Coming second?
What is it that I don’t get?
That it’s not easy?
When was life ever easy?
When was anything worth having easy?

I don’t know what I see
When I look at you
But I want to look deeper
And see more.

And what could you depend on truly?
There never was any ground beneath our feet.
Just the ego making make-belief of safety
Is that what you want?
Make-belief?
We only find the ground when we lose it
You are chasing fools gold
Chasing
Fearing
Chasing
Till your time’s up.

And is this about more than you and I?
About the meeting in freedom
of Man and Woman
with nothing to hold onto anymore.